Find Your Gift

I haven't written in this blog for quite some time. I judged myself harshly and stopped writing, I'd some how convinced myself that I was writing from my ego instead of truly wanting to help people. I don't know how I got to this conclusion because I love helping people! Lesson one: Don't judge yourself! ... But that's for another day. Today I want to talk about what brought me back. I was given a sign and then clarification.

I was browsing around on Pinterest, one Pin lead to another until I started coming across quotes from the TV series, "One Tree Hill". They were really deep and meaningful and I began thinking, perhaps I'd enjoy this series. I was worried that maybe the meaningful lines would be far and few between but decided to give it a go anyway.

I relaxed down and turned on the pilot, Lucas is the main character and part of the story is that he's good at basketball but only plays at the park. His Uncle and the school's basketball coach is trying to get him to play in the school basketball team. Lucas isn't sure he wants to and is chatting to his Uncle talking along the lines of, "I don't really want to.. why should I.. why can't I just keep playing in the park.." His uncle replies:

Keith Scott: "I'll tell you why. When I was a kid, my father took me to Raleigh to see David Thompson play. I was 9 years old. I couldn't have cared less about basketball. But when Thompson stepped on the court, he was so young, so quick, and just so graceful that I was mesmerized. I couldn't take my eyes off him until late in the game, and I look up at my dad, and he's got tears in his eyes. 14,000 strangers and my father's crying because he's so beautiful. He played with such poetry that he made us feel like we were a part of it. You have a gift, Luke, and it's a crime not to let people see it, to hide it in the park. It's a damn shame. That's why."

This hit home for me. I had been asking the same thing. Yeah, sure, I love to contemplate life, I love to think deeply about subjects and ask questions of things that we all don't even notice and I can express myself well in writing but why should I? What's the point when there's so many people online nowadays doing the same thing. It can be off putting when you think about starting a project and you jump online to see the internet flooded with millions of other people doing the same. That scene from "One Tree Hill" made me see it another way, instead of me trying to put myself out there and trying to succeed, I can see it as giving people a gift. A gift of a different perspective, a new way of looking at things. Instead of hiding it in my bedroom. To read other people's perspectives helps me in my life, it sheds new light on concepts I hadn't thought about and brings in awareness so I can change old habitual beliefs which don't work for me anymore.

The next day I found a series of questions to answer which help you to know and accept yourself. It was simple yet powerful, allowing me to focus on the positive aspects of me and at the end was an invitation to ask my own question. So I asked myself: what gift do I have to give to the world? I'm gifted at writing and deep analytical thinking, sharing my thoughts opens other people's eyes to new horizons they haven't thought about.

So if you have something you love to do but you're afraid to put yourself out there, see it as giving others a gift, laying it out for others to choose to take or not. We are all different and we all want different things, we can't please everyone but we can give our gifts to those who will gain from it. 

What is your gift?

Namaste
Belinda

Celebrate the Uniqueness of All

We are all individual, unique expressions of the divine. We are the oneness or consciousness of all, experiencing itself from many different angles. We have individual paths. Life's journey is unique for all and we can celebrate our individuality as well as our oneness.

Find self love in celebrating who you are as a unique expression, your personality mixed with your life experience and desires are part of which makes up you. You have unique concepts and opinions working together to motivate your actions. You have unique desires not only for yourself but for the world too.

We can learn to love others in recognizing they are playing out their unique expression too. All paths are divine. Whether we define it as wrong or right, good or bad is irrelevant. We have the opportunity to learn from one another, we feel inspired by each others art and expression, we react negatively and positively to each others words and actions and through this we can learn a great deal about ourselves. 

Even that which we judge as negative, we can be grateful for as it allows us to further define what we desire and then choose that which feels positive instead. Negativity also causes us to question and this questioning may lead us to mindfulness where we experience our true self, our self as one with all, our self as the divine.

 As we individually walk our paths and grow, we are also assisting the whole to expand. Each experience births a new idea or concept, we constantly push boundaries and invent new things; we discover more whether it be within the scientific realm, religious realm, anywhere in between or even within oneself. We are discovering who we are individually and collectively.What a beautiful world.

Namaste

Belinda

Misconceptions About Introverts

I'm an introvert and there's so many misconceptions about us. They're pushed so hard even I've taken them on in the past, believing I had issues I needed to fix, when all along it wasn't an issue at all, it's just part of who I am. 

Introverts prefer more alone time than social time. We enjoy the socialising we do have but if we get too much then we want some time to ourselves to reboot; we seem to take on a lot of energy from other people and need space to catch our breath and let go. We enjoy deep thinking and being alone allows us to contemplate matters important to us. We like to think before we speak and act, we are more inside ourselves than outside and we love to day dream and wonder; we have amazing imaginations.

 I wanted to share some misconceptions to help extroverts better understand introverts, as well as help introverts understand themselves more; through understanding comes appreciation and acceptance.

Misconception 1: "Introverts are shy"

I was a shy kid so I took on this one, but as I've grown and gained confidence, I'm no longer shy. Does that mean I'm no longer an introvert? No. Many introverts aren't shy and never have been. Introverts can be quiet because we don't have to talk all the time, we enjoy listening, it's interesting. Also, a lot of introverts are uninterested in small talk.

Misconception 2: "Introverts aren't confident"

This is very similar to the first point, but I wanted to point out that simply because someone likes their own company or enjoys listening as opposed to talking doesn't mean they lack confidence. 

Confidence is an inner acceptance of self and sometimes people who seem the most confident, aren't and those who are quiet, are. 

Misconception 3: "Introverts are anti-social"

Introverts tend to want more alone time than social time, this doesn't mean we don't like being around people. I love socialising, I love a great night out with friends, I love deep conversations, I love spending a lot of good quality time with my family and I love being around my partner. I also love singing my heart out and dancing around the house by myself, I enjoy laying in bed with a good book on my own and one of my favourite things to do alone is contemplate life and why we're here. I just love my own company, I'm excited when my partner offers to take the kids out and I get the whole house to myself.

Misconception 4: "If an introvert is shy and awkward then becomes confident and cool, they've become an extrovert"

As I said in the first point, not all introverts are shy. Shy and introvert are two different things, you can have shy introverts as well as confident introverts and you can have shy extroverts as well as confident extroverts. 

I was shy and gained confidence, people tell me all the time how confident I am; a social butterfly, I love being around people but I'm still an introvert. I'm still more inside myself than outside, I still love contemplating life and spending time by myself to wonder. You're either one or the other, it doesn't change. 

Misconception 5: "Introverts can't get ahead because they're too quiet, shy, anti-social and lack confidence"

Albert Einstein
Martin Luther King Jr. 
Mahatma Gandhi
J.K. Rowling
Mark Zuckerberg
Barack Obama
Bill Gates
Nicole Kidman
Audrey Hepburn
Christina Aguilera...

There are many successful introverts, I chose 10 of the most famous and successful introverts to show you that they can get ahead and I also wanted to show their diversity; scientists, leaders, programmers, actors and singers...  

Misconception 6: The biggest misconception "Extroverts are better than introverts"

We all know really, deep down, that introverts are better than extroverts... Hehe, just kidding. No one is better than anyone else but unfortunately because of the previous misconceptions many people think it's better to be an extrovert and even think introverts need "fixing". The truth is, both have different strengths and flaws and even then, how those come out depends on each individual. 

As an introvert, I can only speak from the perspective of one and I love being an introvert. I can't get enough of deep thinking and profound conversations. I love contemplating why we're here and who we are beyond our senses and I love to wonder about life after death, other dimensions and reality itself. 


I see my inside world as bigger and more profound than the outside, I'm aware that our internal thoughts, feelings, beliefs and expectations shape our reality and I enjoy becoming more aware of my inner self consistently. 


No matter who you are, introvert or extrovert, find your strengths within yourself and appreciate them because they mold who you are as an individual which profoundly adds to the whole of humanity. Embrace yourself and be the best you, you can be.

Namaste
Belinda

Believe in Yourself

Believing in yourself is the most important step in achieving what you want, if you've already decided to believe you can't then you won't even bother setting a goal to achieve what you want let alone make any steps to achieve it. The ego would rather be right than achieve inner dreams so will even go to lengths to subconsciously sabotage you.

You can even experiment with "I can" vs "I can't" by swinging back and forth while doing something, I did this with my children, we all stood on one foot and said, "I can't balance" and we fell back to 2 feet over and over, when we switched to "I can balance" we were able to hold the balance for a long time. I tried to do this with my partner but it didn't work because he was so confident in his ability to balance that he was unable to really convince himself even for a second that he couldn't. This is the power of belief. 

Another experiment I did was kind of by accident. A few years ago while exercising I got to the point where I felt I could no longer keep jogging, I heard myself think "I can't, I can't" and I stopped with exhaustion as I began jogging again I decided to use affirmations, "I can, I can" "I'm powerful" "I can keep going" I went on for a lot longer than I'd previously believed I could, the affirmations gave me more energy to keep going, it amazed me how energized I felt inside! It also made me start enjoying exercise. 

From these little experiments and understanding that it is my belief which determines my success I have been able to achieve many things in my life that I first thought weren't possible. I assumed that after 2 kids I would never get back down to the size I was before kids but with a shift in my belief, I did. I thought I was an easy target and that everyone ridiculed and put others down but with a change in my belief I allowed myself to drift apart from people like that and attracted those who love and support me. 

I achieved what I thought was impossible over and over but I didn't even bother trying to until I shifted my belief from impossible to possible. From "I can't" to "I can and I will".

At times you'll be working towards goals and they just won't go to plan. This isn't proof that your goal is impossible, it just means there's a better way to go about it that you aren't aware of yet. When your plan fails, don't take it personally, just use it as feedback and ask yourself, if that way of going about it doesn't work, what else can I try? Perhaps you have set your goal too high and as much as you try to use affirmations to achieve your goal, your inner self just doesn't believe it yet, set a lower goal and achieve that first, then you can keep raising your goal. When you start small you get to celebrate every step of achievement along the way. 

Sometimes, you may even find that you're thankful for blockages that come your way because you realise that particular goal or that way of going about it isn't for you after all or everything seems like it's falling apart only for you to realise later that it was all really coming together in ways better than you ever imagined. 

This isn't just true for goals, this is true for everything in your life. Experiment with this so you can experience it for yourself, it's very powerful. Question your assumptions about yourself and life, become aware of your inner beliefs and change the ones that aren't serving you. When you switch around your thoughts and feelings you'll be amazed with how much changes, you'll attract people, things and circumstances to assist and guide you and everything will fall into place in better ways than you can imagine.

Start with your beliefs, believe in yourself and write affirmations because as Henry Ford said, if you think you can or you can't, you are right.    


Namaste
Belinda

Loving the Body

My Journey of Getting Past Body Image Issues

I've had body image issues for a long time,  well ever since I can remember. It's such a long term old habit that it's hard to break. I don't remember exactly when it started but I know I was anorexic at 13 and although I stopped starving myself, I never started to love my body.  I'm now 28, that's a decade and a half of hatred towards my body and don't even get me started on the other parts of myself. I've practiced gratitude, a lot of meditation and dabbled in affirmations and I've finally put my foot down and said it's time to really love myself. It's time for me to break the old habits and give myself the love I deserve.

 I actually started a few weeks ago. I began using affirmations and used Louise Hay's advice of standing in the mirror and telling myself I love me. I practice a lot of self awareness. I'm a massive analyzer and I've learned how to break through my old thought patterns. I hear my thoughts and sense my feelings with it and I ask myself where the thoughts and feelings have come from. If I'm stuck I talk to my guides and higher self. I find that as I focus on an old thought with awareness I hear that it's just an old thought pattern that I don't actually believe anymore.

 I'm now slowly replacing the old thoughts with new ones. As I do this, I've begun to realise how crazy my old thoughts were. Don't get me wrong,  I still fall back into the old thoughts, I just hope I won't eventually. Here I am, as are you, a divine being, a soul if you will, having a human experience. A wonderful, unique expression of life itself. I'm blessed to be in a full functioning body, living in a rich society with all my needs met abundantly and spoilt with our first world luxuries like technology and leisure items. I'm so lucky, especially compared to those struggling to meet their basic needs. I have everything and then some (and I'm considered poor in this country). Yet there I stand, worried and insecure about my body shape. Comparing myself to a teenage, photoshopped model in a shop window. Are we mad? How or why is "body image" even a thing? We are all so amazing in our unique expression of consciousness.

The next crazy realisation I had was that we put pretend food that's made up of poisonous chemicals into our bodies and say we're treating ourselves. Spoiling ourselves is actually more towards the truth but think about an apple that is spoiled, it's rotten. To treat ourselves would be to eat real food and to tell ourselves we deserve to be healthy. This is showing ourselves and our bodies love and appreciation.

 I also realised that we give our loved ones love, respect and support but we forget to take the time to give this same care to ourselves. Imagine a world where we loved ourselves, each other and the Earth.  Where everyone felt secure in themselves. Be the change you want to see in the world.

We live in a society where we've forgotten what healthy means, with our ego's saying we want to be healthy but deep down the ego just wants to look good. Since our goal is about our looks, we make unhealthy choices like eating less than we need or we may binge on unhealthy pretend foods. We also have unrealistic and unobtainable goals for our bodies and feel insecure when we can't reach them.

Choices I'm making now to love and care for my body: (that you can too)

1. I show myself love and care which then leads me to want to feed my body real foods that nourish me. You may like my other post: Self Love: 10 Things to do to show yourself love.

2. I Choose to appreciate my body and say, "I love you,  body" instead of "I love my body" This takes away the ego identification with the body and motivates me to feed my body amazingly healthy foods. 

3. I check all labels of what I'm eating and avoid any fake lab made chemicals that are harmful to my body. I source non-GMO and organic foods.

4. I respect animals, and in turn myself, and only eat free range.

5. I stand in the mirror and use affirmations. I even stand nude and appreciate my unique shape and am grateful to have a healthy full functioning body that has healthily carried 3 children.

6. When I hear negative or shallow thoughts that dis-empower me, I remind myself that it's just old habits. I purposely let those thoughts and feelings go and choose positive, empowering ones instead.

7. If I do slip backwards and awareness, meditation and gratitude aren't helping, I allow my feelings and forgive myself.

I'm sure over time I will let go of many more negative insecure thoughts, feelings and actions that come from lack of self love. I'm excited about what future I'm creating as I begin to love and value myself. I just hope that by sharing this, you will too, choose to love yourself by taking time for you, caring for you, giving yourself love and admiration and making choices that serve you.

Namaste

Belinda

Gratitude is Awesome

I love practicing gratitude and if I'm honest, I don't think I do it enough! When I do find myself floating in a pool of inner bliss due to the contemplation of just how damn spoilt I am I question as to why I don't appreciate life more often.

When I first tried to practice some gratitude, nothing happened. I didn't get it. It clicked when someone said, the practice of gratitude is realising how lucky you are in comparison to those worse off than you. As I thought about my basic needs; food, clothing, water and shelter and compared what I had to those worse off than me, it hit me just how lucky I am. Some people lack food and I can open my full fridge and full pantry, whinge about the food I have because I don't feel like that and go to the shop to buy something else or sit in a restaurant and eat until I'm so full it hurts. 

 

Not only are all my survival needs met with abundance but I also have so many things that I enjoy having but don't need. I feel so happy and grateful to have been born into a society where our needs are easily met and we have the freedom to be, do and have whatever we want.

Today I'm specifically grateful for my beautiful children, our abundance of yummy and nutrient rich foods and the internet which allows me to connect to the world and learn about anything I'd like.

What are you grateful for today?

Have fun with it!

Namaste

Belinda