I haven't written in this blog for quite some time. I judged myself harshly and stopped writing, I'd some how convinced myself that I was writing from my ego instead of truly wanting to help people. I don't know how I got to this conclusion because I love helping people! Lesson one: Don't judge yourself! ... But that's for another day. Today I want to talk about what brought me back. I was given a sign and then clarification.
I was browsing around on Pinterest, one Pin lead to another until I started coming across quotes from the TV series, "One Tree Hill". They were really deep and meaningful and I began thinking, perhaps I'd enjoy this series. I was worried that maybe the meaningful lines would be far and few between but decided to give it a go anyway.
I relaxed down and turned on the pilot, Lucas is the main character and part of the story is that he's good at basketball but only plays at the park. His Uncle and the school's basketball coach is trying to get him to play in the school basketball team. Lucas isn't sure he wants to and is chatting to his Uncle talking along the lines of, "I don't really want to.. why should I.. why can't I just keep playing in the park.." His uncle replies:
"I'll tell you why. When I was a kid, my father took me to Raleigh to see
David Thompson play. I was 9 years old. I couldn't have cared less
about basketball. But when Thompson stepped on the court, he was so
young, so quick, and just so graceful that I was mesmerized. I couldn't
take my eyes off him until late in the game, and I look up at my dad,
and he's got tears in his eyes. 14,000 strangers and my father's crying
because he's so beautiful. He played with such poetry that he made us
feel like we were a part of it. You have a gift, Luke, and it's a crime
not to let people see it, to hide it in the park. It's a damn shame.
This hit home for me. I had been asking the same thing. Yeah, sure, I love to contemplate life, I love to think deeply about subjects and ask questions of things that we all don't even notice and I can express myself well in writing but why should I? What's the point when there's so many people online nowadays doing the same thing. It can be off putting when you think about starting a project and you jump online to see the internet flooded with millions of other people doing the same. That scene from "One Tree Hill" made me see it another way, instead of me trying to put myself out there and trying to succeed, I can see it as giving people a gift. A gift of a different perspective, a new way of looking at things. Instead of hiding it in my bedroom. To read other people's perspectives helps me in my life, it sheds new light on concepts I hadn't thought about and brings in awareness so I can change old habitual beliefs which don't work for me anymore.
The next day I found a series of questions to answer which help you to know and accept yourself. It was simple yet powerful, allowing me to focus on the positive aspects of me and at the end was an invitation to ask my own question. So I asked myself: what gift do I have to give to the world? I'm gifted at writing and deep analytical thinking, sharing my thoughts opens other people's eyes to new horizons they haven't thought about.
So if you have something you love to do but you're afraid to put yourself out there, see it as giving others a gift, laying it out for others to choose to take or not. We are all different and we all want different things, we can't please everyone but we can give our gifts to those who will gain from it.
What is your gift?